The Last Letter
by Evarinya28
Summary: Losing his five youngest children was like losing most of his soul. But they weren't the only precious people Oda Sakunosuke had in his life. He had chosen to avenge his kids and follow them in death. But he couldn't just callously abandon Dazai-kun, could he? OR Before he leaves for his last battle, Oda Sakunosuke has some unfinished business. Part of The Ties That Bind Universe.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything recognisable.

**A/n:** This fic is a part of the Ties That Bind soulmate AU, but you needn't read the other entries in the series. Just note that in this verse people can share soul-bonds which are more often platonic than not. Dazai and Odasaku share both a soul-friend and a soul-parent/child bond - a very rare phenomenon. Each bond has a distinct identification mark. Soul-siblings share a soul-parent but may or may not share actual soul-bonds. This is set at the end of Dark Era with a few differences. Here, Akutagawa is dead. Dazai was supposed to be away on a mission when Mimic attacked the kids. Odasaku was already gone when Dazai reached the site and they didn't meet until the end. The final scene at Gidé's ballroom is the same, but Natsume meets Dazai there in human form right after it.

* * *

A soft, sad smile played on the young man's lips as he placed the notebooks carefully on the table. Even after everything that had happened and would be happening today, Dazai was bound to come back to his apartment sooner or later. There was no way he wouldn't notice that the notebooks that had originally been tucked away in a drawer were instead arranged conspicuously on the table. And then the younger man couldn't _not_ find the letter the redhead had left for him.

His fingers caressed the covers and spines lovingly. These notebooks were filled with character sketches, half-written ideas and sundry other notes. They contained the first draft of the book he had long dreamt of writing. He would never have the chance to complete it now. He had made his choice. He was a dead man walking. His writings had been his greatest material treasure - his seventh child. He was thankful that he had entrusted his work to Dazai for safekeeping. It hadn't perished with his five young children.

His children.. He wasn't going to have to wait long. Just a few more hours and he would have exterminated each and every member of the organisation that had murdered them. And then he would finally follow them. His right hand still still shook slightly, but the pain of the burnt soul-bonds was a pale shadow compared to the agony in his heart. Kousuke, Katsumi, Yū, Shinji, Sakura. All gone in a second, their soul-marks now livid scars on his skin.

But right above them a mark still shone with colour, a bright ribbon was still tied around his wrist. A blue and silver eight-pointed star glowed from both - the soul-mark of Dazai Osamu. His eldest soul-child, his soul-friend, the boy who was his little brother in all but blood. The strong, vulnerable young man he was about to abandon and hurt so badly.

He was lucky that the executive was away on a mission. Hopefully everything would be over by the time Osamu returned. Because if he saw the younger man now, he would not have the resolve to leave him behind and continue with his kamikaze mission.

Contrary to the callous facade he presented to the world, there were people Dazai cared for, and deeply at that. Soul-bonds never lie and the brunette was quite open about his feelings when it came to his family anyway. This was going to devastate him. It hurt so much to think of the pain he would be causing. But this was for the best. He had to do this. For the children he had already lost, for himself and, most importantly, for this young man who was so precious to him.

Oda Sakunosuke's Ability, Flawless, had manifested itself at quite a young age. It let him see into the immediate future - just a few seconds forward - and predict any incoming threat. This, combined with his skill and physical capabilities, had made him a deadly fighter. His Ability had all too often made made the difference between success and failure. It had saved lives, both his own and that of others, countless times. This was common knowledge within the Mafia. What no one else, not even Dazai or Ango knew was that Flawless had another side to it.

Oda almost never remembered his dreams (or more commonly, nightmares.) All that remained when he woke up were some vague feelings and hazy images which faded rapidly. But there had been times - just a handful of them in all of his nearly 24 years - when his dreams had been vivid and clear and had remained imprinted in his mind. They had all come true.

He had dreamt of being orphaned, about his encounter with the author who had changed his life, of evenings at the Lupin with Ango and Dazai - long before he had met either of them. He had dreamt about his first meetings with each of his children. And weeks, months or even years later, what he had seen had actually taken place, exactly how they had occurred in those visions. He had dreamt of the explosion that had snuffed out the lives of his kids and his landlord but he had seen too little to understand. He had realised the significance of that dream far too late, standing helpless before his burning home and the ashes of his beloved children. The only visions that were yet to come true had been about Osamu.

There were two of them - scenes from a future where he himself remained only in memories and as a name on a gravestone. But Dazai was there - alive, happy, healing and free from the stranglehold of the Port Mafia. He had seen the younger man surrounded by people (new friends, new _family_), his eyes shining and a genuine smile playing on his lips.

The other time, he'd had the dubious pleasure of looking at his own grave. And Osamu had _glowed_ with life and happiness, hand in hand with an uncharacteristically shy Nakahara Chuuya. They had asked for his blessings, matching rings adorning their left hands. In spite of its.. disconcerting beginning, this vision had made him _so very happy._

To know that Dazai - his doubly precious Osamu - would not only find reasons to live but also experience joy and fulfilment.. Even though he was an author, he couldn't adequately put to words how much these visions meant to him.

There was a photo on one of the shelves at the corner. The same photo that he, Dazai and Ango had taken on their last meeting, right before the beginning of the end. Looking at it, he felt a stab of pity for his other soul-friend. He had already forgiven the man - his family's death was no fault of Ango's. The man had just wanted to do his duty and had gotten caught in Mori's web of lies and treachery. Now he'd be plagued by pain and guilt for the rest of his life. And he'd earn Dazai's hatred. He was a good man who hadn't deserved this. It was all Mori's fault.

The Mafia Boss' _attention_ towards Dazai was becoming more and more disturbing - to the point that people had started to notice and gossip was rife within the lower ranks. Osamu himself held nothing but disgust towards Mori's advances. Before his fateful meeting with their superior, Oda had been afraid that the young executive was on the fast track towards a disastrous confrontation with the Boss. But now, Mori had made a critical mistake. By destroying most of Dazai's loved ones, he had sown the seeds of his own downfall.

According to Dazai, Mori had no soul-bonds. That was perhaps why he had completely misjudged their significance. And he had failed to understand Dazai's true nature. Therefore he hadn't realised that killing the people who were essentially Dazai's _family_ could earn him the younger man's eternal hatred. And everyone in the Mafia knew what being Dazai's enemy meant.

Oda knew he had to die. Mori saw him as a threat to his plans and was determined to eliminate him. Sooner or later, the Mafia Boss would definitely succeed. The more time passed, the more chance Mori had to find out and rectify the flaws in his plans and make fresh and more dangerous ones. Meanwhile, the Mafia lifestyle and Mori's constant presence was taking a greater and greater toll on Dazai's psyche by the day. There was also the risk that Mori would find out about Dazai's feelings for Chuuya-kun or about the two youngest executives' secret relationship. _That_ would truly be a recipe for disaster.

The death of his five youngest children was like losing most of his soul. The only thing that could have made him keep on living would have been the spare Dazai, and to a lesser extent Ango, the agony of lost bonds. But his death would be the push Osamu would need to free himself from the web of darkness and step towards light.

His eldest would heal, but never forget. The young man had a bright future ahead of him. And one day, he was sure, his soul-friend would make the hateful man who had destroyed their family pay. He himself would, meanwhile personally destroy Mimic and reunite with his little ones in death. The choice was easy.

That didn't mean that he had no regrets. His biggest one was, of course, Dazai. At his core, beneath the numerous barriers and masks the executive used to protect or hide himself with, there lived a small, fragile child who longed for love and stability. Osamu loved his younger siblings dearly. And now, right after they were lost so cruelly, his Odasaku would be piling more agony onto him by essentially killing himself.

Even though he would heal, his recovery would be long and arduous. Even now, Oda longed to hold the boy close and comfort him. He wished he could watch him flourish in the light. Although it would be a monumentally bad idea, he wanted to see Osamu one last time.

Ango was another regret. To have unwittingly played a role in the plot that led to the deaths of his soul-friend and his children - Oda couldn't even try to imagine what the other man would go through. He had already sent a brief farewell note to Ango, forgiving him for his deception and absolving him regarding his kids' death. But with him gone, Ango and Dazai's friendship would be completely ruined. Ango was his best friend. It was painful to think about his suffering. And Dazai would _not_ forgive Ango in the foreseeable future. The young executive was ruthless, vindictive and could weaponise words with devastating results. He would cruelly twist the knives in every time they'd meet in the future.

Leaving out his two soul-friends, Oda supposed he didn't have any other unfinished business. Well maybe, he mused wryly, he somewhat regretted not being able to finish and publish his book. At the risk of sounding conceited, he was pretty sure it'd have been a damn good read.

Anyhow, it was already too late for regrets. It was the time for action. It was the time for vengeance. His last battle was about to begin.

* * *

**Dear Dazai-kun,**

**No, it's about time that I called you by your name, Osamu-kun. By now you already know that the children and I are gone. And you're blaming yourself for what happened to us. Stop it _immediately_. You're the very _last_ person I'd blame. The only ones responsible are Mori, who planned this all and Mimic, whom he used as his instruments. Mimic will pay tonight. I shall annihilate them.**

I** shall not ask you to avenge us. I'm writing to you in order to apologise for everything. Osamu-kun, please forgive me for abandoning you when you need me the most. I'm so sorry for leaving you all alone and in so much pain. You'll probably say that I have nothing to apologise for, that you're not worth it. It's the other way round. You're far too precious to me and any apology I offer you is inadequate.**

**However****, Mori wants me dead and he will _not_ stop until he succeeds. Instead of running away from the inevitable and being hunted down and killed like a cornered dog, I'd rather go out now, taking as many of our enemies with me as possible. I'm sorry that it had to be this way.**

**Osamu-kun,**** beware of Mori. You know this already, but when it comes to that man, you can never be too careful. When he was speaking to me today, I could read him quite well. Perhaps he didn't bother to hide his emotions from a man who was about to die. The envy and sick desire on his face made my skin crawl. He wants you to submit to him - mind and body.**

**And**** that is where _I_ got involved. Mori believes soul-bonds _force_ people to love and be loyal to their bonded. He thinks that if I die and our bond is shattered, you'll go back to being the person you used to be when he first met you.**

**Let**** me make this clear. I'm thankful for the bonds I share with you. Yes. Even after everything that has happened in the last few days, I have never once regretted knowing you. I only wish that we had never met Mori.**

**Mori**** has never seen you as anything other than the Demon Prodigy - a twisted, sadistic psychopath like himself. He has no idea what a soul-bond means. Osamu-kun, the marks on your arms are proof that there are _so many people_ that you're capable of caring unselfishly for. And someone as innately proud and stubborn as you will never become the obedient little pet monster Mori wants.**

**That**** man will subtly try to fill your head with lies, convinced that with me gone and none of your other bondeds in sight, he would be the only one able to influence you. He will attempt to convince you that being his weapon is your only option. He couldn't be more wrong.**

**I**** have watched you grow from a callous brat into an amazing, albeit flawed young man. I've seen you sheepishly listen to Kousuke as he berated you for skipping meals. I've seen you quietly acquiesce to Katsumi's demands of _stop being lazy_ _and_ _take me rock-climbing._ I have seen you spend much of the very little free time you had, patiently tutoring Yū and Shinji. I've seen you with paint on your cheek and brush in your hand, finishing pictures with Sakura. Believe me, I know my children's beloved Aniki quite well.**

**You**** were _not_ obligated to do this, even for the sake of our soul-bonds. You didn't share soul-bonds with any of my kids and yet you'd have moved heaven and earth for them. My point is that you were able to find a place to _belong to,_ even without soul-bonds. And you can find such a place or such people again if only you'd let yourself.**

**Now**** you're thinking that you've failed us, right? Osamu-kun, even though you're so intelligent, you can be such an idiot at times. Let me reiterate this now. I'm so very glad to have had you as a part of my family. I'm honoured to have had the chance of being your friend, your brother and your parent.**

**If**** anyone has failed the kids, it's me. Neither Mori nor Mimic had any idea that they meant _anything_ to you. They were targeted because they're _my_ children. They were killed by _my_ enemies. Even though you're a genius, you aren't omniscient _or_ omnipotent. Neither of us realised that Mori, with his proclamation that "The Mafia looks after its own" would have a member's civilian family killed.**

**Are**** you thinking that we'd have been safe if you had surrendered to Mori? Don't. You. Dare. Never, ever regret not complying with that disgusting man's twisted intentions. You're our family, Osamu-kun. We love you. I know that the children will agree with me when I say that even if there was a faint chance that what you think is true, we'd rather have died than have you suffer through living hell for us.**

**I**** had told you that I shall not ask you to avenge us. What I want you to do is much harder. I want you to live for us - to live the life that my youngest children deserved but didn't get to enjoy. It's too much to ask of you, I know. That is why I'll not ask you to _do_ it and instead ask you to _try_ it. Just don't give up on life without even _trying_ to find happiness, please.**

**You**** once told me that you joined the Mafia to find the purpose of your life, to fill the emptiness within you. You'll never find it - not in this dark world full of blood and death. I've seen you lose more and more of yourself in order to survive (to excel, because you can't settle for anything less) in this environment of deception and violence. This is not your place. You need to leave. If anyone anyone can get away with abandoning the Port Mafia and starting a new life right under their noses, it's you.**

**You'd**** say that you're not suited for anything else. You're wrong. It's true that it's easy for you to immerse yourself in darkness, to kill and destroy. But the easiest path is rarely the right one. Trust the intuition of a big brother, friend and parent. You were always meant for the light.**

**'Good' ****and 'Evil' mean little to you. For you, everything has always come down to the loyalty and care (or the lack thereof) you hold towards the very few people you acknowledge. There are millions of weak, helpless people out there. There are so many children like the five youngest ones of mine.**

**Often**** a single person can make the difference between safety and ruin. On the side that saves people, helping those who need you, you'll find the world to be a little more beautiful. And one day, you'll find your purpose, your will to live. Fate works in strange ways. I have asked you to go down a harsh path. Somewhere along it, you just might find happiness. Don't dismiss that possibility as an insubstantial dream.**

**There**** is something else I'd like you to consider. If you were to defect from the Mafia and build a new, satisfactory life for yourself right under Mori's nose, completely rejecting him - wouldn't that be a huge slap to his face? Indeed, _that_ is what the kids and I would call the proper revenge against the man who tried to control you.**

**You'll**** probably want some more tangible means of vengeance though. We'll leave that to you. But remember. _Do not_ sacrifice anything of value for your revenge - including your own life which you consider to be of no importance. Mori is _not_ worth it.**

**Osamu-kun,**** if possible, please try to forgive Ango. He _wasn't_ to blame for what happened to us and he will suffer immensely because of everything. I have, personally, already forgiven him. I know forgiveness doesn't come easily to you. I'm not telling you to forgive him _right_ _now_. But some day, I hope you'll be able to let go instead of clinging onto that grudge.**

**Ah****. There is so much more that I'd have liked to tell you, but there is no more time. There is _one_ thing that I _must_ say. Osamu, my friend, my brother, my son, I will love you forever. And my kids too shall always adore their dearest Aniki.**

**Is**** something like reincarnation possible? If so, I wish that in my future lives I will have you as my little brother. Then I can protect you and spoil you and make you smile and _never_ let the light in your eyes dim.**

**My**** writings are yours. Indeed, they are all that I have left to leave behind for you. Take care of them. Maybe one day you'll find it in yourself to take up the pen and finish the tale that I had started.**

**I'm**** glad that you deviced the security system of this place yourself. It's good to know that this letter has little chance of falling into the wrong hands. I couldn't have taken the risk to write to you otherwise. I'm so thankful to have had this last opportunity to tell you a little of what I wanted to say but couldn't, to let you know how much we valued you. Please take care of yourself and never give up.**

**With**** love,**

**Odasaku.**

**PS:**** I know that you and Chuuya-kun are very important to each other. When you meet him again, be honest with him. Don't run from him, don't push him away, don't pretend or hide behind half-truths and omissions, don't let your pride run away with your mouth. You might just be in for a pleasant surprise. And if he agrees to it, hold him close and never let go. I wish you both the very best.**

* * *

The young man carefully folded the letter up and tucked it away in an inner pocket next to his heart. Some of the writing was a little smudged. Had he been crying the first time he had read it? He didn't remember. He had barely registered the words, his mind numb, his body on autopilot and his clothes covered with Odasaku's already dry blood.

How many times had he re-read the letter? A dozen? Two? The last few days had been busy with surreptitious planning and preparations for defection. (It was easier than one would expect. He had been setting up safe-houses, offshore bank accounts and fake identities Mori knew nothing about for a long time. He had never trusted his superior.)

His breast pocket hid a matchbox - one that had been Odasaku's. Sensei - Soseki Natsume-san had given it to him after stopping him from killing himself right in front of Odasaku's still-warm body. He was grateful to the old man for it. If he had died there, he would have let Odasaku and the kids down _again._

After talking to Sensei, he had found something to focus on short-term. The sometimes-cat had also told him about people who would be invaluable to him in his quest to start life anew and continue down the path he had chosen.

What Odasaku had left him was beyond compare. How had his friend known just what he had needed? He sincerely hoped that the man's faith in him wasn't misplaced. But just what had he meant when he had talked about Chuuya?

A non-hostile reunion with his partner seemed to be a fool's dream. Even if the steadfastly loyal executive ever forgave him for his betrayal, from now on they would be enemies. It was too dangerous for them to ever meet again.

Absently, he ran a finger over the pendent at his throat - a gift from his partner whose colour was a reflection of his beautiful blue eyes. He hoped that Chuuya wouldn't destroy the items he had left in the shorter man's apartment. Even though he would be furious, Chuuya needed to decipher the message behind them - something he could never put to words. _You're important to me, but I need to leave. I'm sorry. I'll always remember you. Goodbye. Be happy. Thank you for everything._

There was no time for regrets. He had to survive. He had to atone for his dark past. He had to give his all to save others. It was the least he could do for the family he had failed to save.

It was time. Silent feet carried him out of the apartment that had been his until now. The door clicked shut behind him. Without a backward glance, Dazai Osamu took his first steps towards light.

* * *

A/n: While I was planning this AU, I realised that there was no way Odasaku could just abandon Dazai and go to his death, considering their soul-bonds. Thus this fic was born. I had originally intended to just write an alternate death scene for Odasaku. However, that scene is, frankly, overused. Also, you hardly expect a dying man to be coherent, far less have him perform a very long talk-no-jutsu. Flawless is easy to tweak to include "causes prophetic dreams" as a secondary effect. And hence this final form.

Thank you for your support. Constructive criticism, please! In particular, tell me whether I need to raise the rating.

Also, someone tried to hit on me via ffnet of all things. "Please get lost" is the politest thing I can say to them.

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